Parenting from Proverbs: Providing for the home

Proverbs 31:15:

She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.

Proverbs 31:10-31, the section of Scripture about the virtuous wife, provides many lessons when it comes to parenting; however, I’m going to focus in a verse that characterizes an area in which I need encouragement. Proverbs 31:15 states that the worthy woman “rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household.” The encouragement I need from this verse is twofold: one, to always be working hard for my family, and two, to always be ready to provide for my family, even if it means that I need to rise while it is yet night. It can be very easy to fall into the trap of idleness around the home, and I don’t want to let that idleness rule the home. I want to be active in all aspects around the home, always being ready and willing to take on whatever challenge comes that day. And, beyond even being ready to take on the challenges of the day, to start each day out right: prepared to provide for all in my family.

More Parenting from Proverbs

Proverbs 31:25

(To read previous posts in this series first, click here!)

Proverbs 31:25: "Strength and honor are her clothing, She shall rejoice in the time to come."


This verse is a beautiful description of the worthy woman of Proverbs 31.  She is clothed, or covered, with strength and honor. What an amazing compliment to the life that she is leading!

Throughout this entire passage of scripture (Proverbs 31:10-31), the worthy woman's actions show her strength and honor. She is trustworthy (verse 11); she chooses good over evil (verse 12); she completes her work willingly (verse 13); she provides for her family and others (verse 15); she is wise with her finances (verse 16); she is prepared (verse 18); she is hardworking (verse 19); she is generous and charitable (verse 20); she clothes those of her household well (verse 21); she is wise with her speech (verse 26); and she fears the Lord (verse 30).

I'll admit that I was struggling with the second part of this verse. When will the worthy woman rejoice? In this lifetime or eternally or both? While I think she certainly will rejoice in this lifetime as well as eternally, after further study of the word that is translated "rejoice" in this passage, I found that it means "laugh." In fact, other versions, such as the American Standard Version and English Standard Version actually translate the word as "laughs." When I read this part of the verse as "and she laughs at the time to come," my thoughts go to the preparation of the worthy woman. She doesn't have to worry about the time ahead because she has properly prepared the things in her life. Oh, how I wish that I could always laugh at the time to come! I still have so much growing to do in my life!

Becoming the Worthy Wife of Proverbs 31

(The blog hosting the weekly Far Above Rubies series about the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 has been taking a break these past few weeks, so I thought I would take this opportunity to post a related article that I wrote a while back. I was honored when my husband asked me to write this article to pair with an article he was writing about being worthy of the worthy wife. Here's the article I wrote from the perspective of a young woman learning how to become the worthy wife of Proverbs 31.)


Christian women often study, and rightly so, Proverbs 31:10-31 as an example of how we ought to live our lives. We read and study the characteristics of this woman who is described as rare and valuable, but how can we put these characteristics in practice? How do we become the virtuous wife of Proverbs 31? Principally, to become a virtuous wife a woman must fear the Lord (Proverbs 31:30). In Proverbs 1:7 Solomon writes: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” When we fear the Lord, we give Him honor, and we obey the commands found in His Word. When our lives are founded upon serving the Lord, we ought to be able to lead lives like that of the worthy woman.

The qualities of the virtuous wife described throughout Proverbs 31:10-31 originate from her desire to serve the Lord. She puts others first, taking care of their needs (Proverbs 31:15, 20, 27). She works very hard, inside her household and outside her household (Proverbs 31:13-22; 24; 27); and because she works hard, she does not have to worry about not providing the things her family needs (Proverbs 31:21). As young women, we should have hands that are busy with work that profits our husband and children as well others around us; we should not be lazy. We should demonstrate the work ethic described in Colossians 3:23-24: “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.”

The virtuous wife is trustworthy: an asset, not a burden, to her husband (Proverbs 31:11-12). Although trust should be a foundation in a marriage, a young wife must build up her husband’s trust by doing him good and not evil, putting others first, and working hard (1 Peter 3:1-6, Philippians 2:4, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Ecclesiastes 9:10). The virtuous wife is also careful and kind in her speech (Proverbs 31:26). We must learn to use wisdom in our words as described in Proverbs 15:1-2: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.” We must gain control of our tongue and speak with goodness as illustrated in Proverbs 16:23-24: “The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, and adds learning to his lips. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.”

Becoming the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 is not a simple, quick, or easy task. If being the virtuous wife was a simple task, she would not be considered as rare and valuable as rubies (Proverbs 31:10). It is something that we must constantly be working towards in our lives. As younger women we should look to the older women for guidance, as Paul instructs the older women to teach the younger women in these areas (Titus 2:3-5).We should also continually look to God’s Word for guidance, seeking to do His commands all the days of our lives (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14). When we seek to do His commands we will exhibit the characteristics of the rare woman described in Proverbs 31. The virtuous wife’s worth is based on the fact that she fears the Lord, and the way she lives her life because she fears the Lord.


(If you'd like to read my posts so far in the Far Above Rubies series, click here!)

Proverbs 31:24

(To read previous posts in this series first, click here!)

Proverbs 31:24 (NKJV): "She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants."

This verse expands more on the fact that the virtuous woman is a hard worker. I've already discussed this quality in my posts on verses 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, and 21 of Proverbs 31. I'm truly amazed at how hard the virtuous woman works in all aspects of her life, and hope that I can do the same! This woman is not idle or lazy!

I'm also amazed at the resourcefulness and talent of the virtuous woman. She provides food for her family. She researches business propositions and makes wise decisions regarding business deals. She clothes her family very well. She creates quality merchandise with her hands; and her merchandise is obviously quality work because she is able to sell her garments and supply her garments to the merchants to sell.

Be sure to check out the home blog for this study (Bringing Up Benjamin) and participate in the weekly discussion in the comments section!

Proverbs 31:23

(To read previous posts in this series first, click here!)

Proverbs 31:23 (NKJV): "Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land."

This verse describes the virtuous woman by describing her husband. The virtuous woman married well. She shows wisdom in her choice for a spouse. Her husband is well-respected in the land. He is known in the gates, and has earned a position to sit among the elders of the land.

Although my daughter is still young, I know that one of the hardest things to teach her will probably deal with her relationships with boyfriends, and ultimately her husband. In a world that surrounds Ella with the wrong ideas about the kind of man to seek after we will have to work hard to teach her to seek out the right kind of man. First and foremost, I must teach her that she should seek a man who is seeking after the Lord. She should seek a man who is well-respected and hard-working. She should seek a man who treats others kindly and has a giving heart. The list could go on and on.

The influence of the world on relationships is both strong and dangerous. You cannot turn on TV without seeing improper relationships, but honestly, you don't even have to turn on the TV to see improper relationships. Sadly, the people that surround us everyday have often put themselves into bad relationships. Starting at an early age, I want to teach Ella all that I can about forming the right kind of relationships. I want to guard her from the pain that getting into the wrong kind of relationship can cause. I want to teach her wisdom in the choices she'll be making throughout her life that will ultimately affect who she may choose to marry.

Proverbs 31:22

(To read previous posts in this series first, click here.)

I have really been slacking at getting this post written this week. Partly because I have been busy, but also partly because I've struggled a bit with it.

Proverbs 31:22 (NKJV): " She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple."

I think I struggle with this verse because it almost goes against my intuition as to what I would expect it to say about how the virtuous wife would dress. Throughout the years, I've heard many and even taught some lessons about modesty. I know there is a general misconception that modest must equal frumpy, ugly, boring, or even poor quality and perhaps that is what came to the back of my mind when I envision how the worthy woman would dress. However, a woman can dress modestly and still be stylish, pretty, well put-together, and have quality clothing. Although this verse does not specifically mention modesty, I find it hard to think that her clothing would be praised if it were not modest, considering the teaching on modesty throughout the rest of the Scriptures. This verse, however, does mention something about the quality and appearance of her clothing. The terms "fine linen" and "purple" describe clothing that is beautiful and of high quality. I picture this woman as well-put together - something I honestly need to work on. I'm certainly guilty of not caring too much about what I'm wearing, especially when I'm going to be around the house all day.

With all that said, I think it is also important to consider a passage found in 1 Peter 3:1-6: "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste behavior accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward - arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel - rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror."

The woman described in 1 Peter had more depth than simply a beautiful appearance and the same can certainly be said of the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31. Although I plan to discuss it in more detail when we get to that point in the series, I think Proverbs 31:30 should be mentioned here: "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised."

Proverbs 31:18-21

(To read the previous posts in this series first, click here.)

After trying to catch up, and still not being completely caught up, I've decided to cover all the verses I'm behind on otherwise I may never get caught up!

Proverbs 31:18-19 (NKJV): "She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle."

Once again, these verses remind me about how hard the virtuous woman works. Her hard work produces quality product - one that is worthy and profitable (consider the ESV translation of "her merchandise is profitable"). When I read the second half of verse 18, two different thoughts come to mind. First, that her lamp does not go out by night because she is working hard, even during the nighttime. Secondly, I think of someone who is prepared - their lamp does not go out by night because they have adequate supplies to keep their lamp burning. Verse 19 continues describing the work of the virtuous woman.

Proverbs 31:20 (NKJV): "She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy."

In the first post I wrote in this series, I mentioned that the virtuous woman was valuable to many different people, not just to her husband. One of these groups of people are the poor and needy.

The virtuous woman is giving. First, when you consider the time and effort she puts forth within her own home, you have to think of someone who is giving of herself. But the giving extends beyond her own household, to the poor and needy around her. She exhibits the beautiful quality of charity to others, and I'm sure that the poor and needy are blessed by her charity.

Although extending one's hand to the poor is not simply about giving monetarily (or through the giving of goods), I think it is important to consider that the the virtuous woman has prepared for herself and her family in such a way that she can give monetarily to those who are needy. Consider verses 16, 18, and 24 of Proverbs 31:

• Proverbs 31:16: "She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a field."
• Proverbs 31:18: "She perceives that her merchandise is good. Her lamp does not go out by night."
• Proverbs 31:24: "She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants."

She is financially responsible, and because she is financially responsible, able to to provide for those who are in need. However, there is more to giving than simply being financially responsible. The virtuous woman has a giving heart, willing to help those who are in need.

Proverbs 31:21 (NKJV): "She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet."

The theme of verse 21 can be described easily in one word: prepared. The virtuous woman is prepared. She knows the snow is coming, yet she doesn't worry about the snow because she is prepared. She knows that her family will be properly clothed and provided for during the hard times because she is prepared. The virtuous wife shows wisdom by being prepared to provide for her family during difficult times.

Consider Proverbs 6:6-8: "Go to the ant, you sluggard! Consider her ways and be wise, which, having no captain, overseer or ruler, provides her supplies in the summer. And gathers her food in the harvest." Similarly, Proverbs 30:24-25: "There are four things which are little on the earthy, but they are exceedingly wise: The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their food in the summer." Or, consider the example of Noah, who, being obedient to God, prepared properly so that his family was safe during the flood.

Properly preparing for my family is something that I want to do well, and something that I strive to do well, but something that I often find myself not doing well. Too many times I end up doing things at the last minute that should have been done a long time before because I don't prepare properly. And then, because I waited to the last minute, I really don't provide for my family the way I need to provide for them. I need to refocus my priorities so that I can get the things done I need to get done, so that I do not have to worry when the snow comes!

So, what are some ways I can be prepared? Here are just a few things I thought about (and I'd love to hear what you've thought about!):

• Preparing to spend money wisely (couponing/stockpiling are ways I've tried to do this)
• Taking care of my home
• Making a weekly meal plan
• Taking the time to meditate about how we will raise our children. This involves SO much, including study, prayer, and discussion with my husband.

Proverbs 31:17

(To read previous posts in this series first, click here.)

Proverbs 31:17 (NKJV): "She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms."

I'm a very literal person, and I'll admit that I had to really meditate on this verse to understand its meaning. I think that going through this verse by verse study has been great for many reasons, but especially because it has made me meditate on what is being taught in each verse. Too often, I allow myself to skim over a verse when reading a particular passage without truly thinking about what is being taught.

Studying the worthy woman of Proverbs 31 really should silence critics who proclaim that the Bible teaches that the woman isn't worthy. Yes, the woman's place and role is different from the man's place and role, but the woman is important, capable, and worthy just as the man is important, capable, and worthy. This section of scripture (Proverbs 31:10-31) starts out (verse 10) by describing the value of the woman who is described throughout the rest of the passage. Proverbs 31:17 describes this woman's strength. Women can be and should be strong.

The inner strength described in this verse is something the worthy woman has to work towards. She actively pursues strength. According to Dictionary.com, the term "gird" (another one of those words we don't use in our everyday speech) means "to encircle or bind with a belt." To me, if someone is girding themselves with something they mean business!

Consider, only as one example, the great responsibility of raising children, and the strength alone a woman needs to raise children. In 1 Timothy 5:14, Paul instructs Timothy to teach that the younger women "should marry, bear children, manage the household, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully." Similarly in Titus, Paul instructs Titus to teach that the older women admonish the younger women "to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blashphemed."

Proverbs 31:16

I am still not caught up from falling WAY behind in the series of posts about Proverbs 31 in the study that Kristen at Bringing Up Benjamin is hosting, but I am working getting caught up. I have been blessed by taking a deep look at these verses, and I hope you have also been taking the time to study these verses.

Proverbs 31:16: (NKJV) "She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard."


An overreaching quality of the virtuous woman that is described in various ways throughout Proverbs 31:10-31 is the quality of being a hard worker. Proverbs 31:16 describes yet another way that the virtuous woman is a hard worker: she is a hard worker in her financial dealings. It takes a lot of effort to do the research necessary to make a purchase that will be profitable! The virtuous woman isn't simply satisfied with her earnings either - she puts her earnings to work for her future.

However, in addition to being a hard worker, another overreaching quality of the virtuous woman is also described in this verse: wisdom. She doesn't spend her money carelessly. She takes the time necessary to do her research - and her research pays off because her investment is profitable. But his wisdom doesn't end with her profits: she continues to invest wisely by using her profits to continue to provide for her family.

I'll freely admit that I have not (and still do not) always put forth the proper effort, work, and wisdom when handling financial matters. As I've gotten older, and wiser I suppose, I'm trying to make better financial decisions by exhibiting patience and self-control, as well as through good research in financial handlings.

Proverbs 31:13-15

I know, I know . . .I'm WAY behind on my posts going through Proverbs 31. But I'm catching up now! I've been doing a lot of study on these passages, but I haven't had much of an opportunity to actually blog about my study. I'm thankful I have some time now. These posts are part of a discussion that Kristen started on her blog, Bringing Up Benjamin.

Proverbs 31:13-15: "She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships,  she brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants."


I've read this passage several times, and the quality that is immediately evident from these verses is that the woman of Proverbs 31 is a very hard worker. She's a hard worker whose purpose is not selfish; rather, she is working hard to provide for those around her. When we look to women in our world today, many are hard workers; however, their hard work often seems misguided and selfish, not focusing on things that are really important.

However, beyond the concept of hard work, as I considered these verses further, the word willingly stood out to me. The woman of Proverbs 31 is not only a hard worker, she works willingly. Dictionary.com defines willingly as "disposed or consenting", or "cheerfully consenting and ready". I see her as a woman who has the proper attitude about the work she is doing. I know that there are many times in my life that I may be working hard, but not willingly, and I'm truly lacking the proper attitude. I want and need to have a better attitude about any work that I'm doing.

Proverbs 31:12

Continuing in the study about being a godly woman . . . .this week the discussion is about Proverbs 31:12.

Proverbs 31:12 (NKJV): "She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."


What does it mean to do "good"? Dictionary.com defines good as morally excellent, virtuous, or righteous. Conversely, what does it mean to do "evil"? Dictionary.com defines evil as morally wrong or bad; immoral; wicked; or harmful. There is a clear contrast between actions that would be classified as good and actions that would be classified as evil.

Although this verse specifically speaks to the relationship between the husband and wife, couldn't we consider how this verse should apply in all situations? After all, we should seek to do good and not evil all the days of our lives.  While this list isn't exhaustive, here are some additional verses to consider when we study about doing good rather than evil.

Proverbs 11:23: "The desire of the righteous is only good, but the expectation of the wicked is wrath."

Proverbs 12:2: "A good man obtains favor from the Lord, but a man of wicked intentions He will condemn."

Romans 12:9: "Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good."

Romans 12:21: "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Galations 6:10: "Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith."

Ephesians 2:10: "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."

Phillippians 4:8: "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praisworthy - meditate on these things."

1 Thessalonians 5:21-22: "Test all things; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil."

Although simple, Proverbs 31:12 can sometimes be very difficult to put into practice. How will I, as a Christian woman, react when my husband forgets to take out the trash? And even beyond how I will react in situations like I just mentioned, what actions will I take to proactively do good to my husband? These are things that I must continually meditate on in my own life.

Proverbs 31:11

As I've mentioned before, I'm participating in a blog discussion of sorts that Kristen at Bringing Up Benjamin started a few weeks ago. Each week we are discussing a verse about to become godly women. Last week (well, almost two weeks ago now) we discussed Proverbs 31:10, and this week we are discussing the next verse, Proverbs 31:11. I know I'm a week behind, but I had a good reason (I'll write about that tomorrow). For now though, here are some thoughts about Proverbs 31:11.

Proverbs 31:11 (NKJV): "The heart of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain."


This verse brings out an important quality in the marriage relationship: trust, and more specifically, trust with financial dealings. The virtuous wife is trustworthy with financial matters - her husband does not fear that she will cause him "spoil" (KJV).

Financial matters seem to cause major issues in so many marriages in the world today whether it be from a lack of communication regarding financial matters or poor financial handling or even an ungodly desire for more money. As a godly woman, I should be wise in my financial dealings and my husband should not have any concern for how I handle financial matters; in fact, he should be able to trust me completely. I should be wise and responsible in how I spend money, and there should always be communication between me and my husband with financial dealings. I should not put pressure on my husband to spend money unwisely or unnecessarily. I know I have been guilty of this in the past, and I certainly hope that I can improve on this in the future. I also should not have an ungodly desire for money that could possibly cause my husband to be pressured into taking a job that requires him to spend too much time away from our family or from faithfully attending services.

One way I'm trying to do a better job handling finances is through my shopping. I have been working hard over the past few months (although I admit I've been slacking a bit lately) to find ways to reduce the amount of money we may have carelessly spent in the past by not planning or simply paying attention as we should. Couponing has gone a long way to helping us reduce the amount of money we spend on everyday items like groceries and toiletries. I don't claim to be a couponing expert - I'm still learning myself - but I have certainly come a long way in reducing the amount of money we spend on those items.

On a slightly different note, I wanted to mention a great Bible resource I used while working on this lesson. E-sword is a free Bible program that you can download to your computer. Several versions of the Bible are available for free as add-ons, although there are a few you have to pay a small fee to add to the program (I think it is worth it to pay to add these on).

Proverbs 31:10

As I mentioned a couple of posts back, my friend Kristen over at Bringing Up Benjamin is starting a weekly discussion about being a godly woman. The discussion started yesterday, and I'm already behind, but at least I'm getting to it now. Check out Kristen's post and the comments for this week's discussion!

I'm around young Christian women quite often, and many times in discussion this passage and its entire context (Proverbs 31:10-31) is brought up as a passage to study. There is a reason these verses are brought up frequently! As a Christian woman, I should be striving to be like the woman of Proverbs 31. I'm thankful for this opportunity to study these verses individually and conduct an in-depth study with other women.

Proverbs 31:10 (NKJV): "Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies."


The woman of Proverbs 31 is rare and valuable. She is rare and valuable, not because of her outer appearance or even who her spouse is, but rather because of her inner qualities. She is rare and valuable because she is virtuous.

Virtuous is one of those words we (well, at least I don't) don't use often in our everyday speech. In fact, the last time I remember thinking about the word virtuous (or more specifically virtue) was when I was involved in a study about 2 Peter 1:5-7 where Peter instructs Christians to add virtue to their faith. So what does virtuous mean? One of the definitions on Dictionary.com is "morally excellent;" in fact, the English Standard Version actually translates the word "virtuous" as "excellent." Although the word "excellent" is often used casually in our language today, I think we can perhaps grasp the idea of "morally excellent" a little easier than "virtuous." When I think about something that is excellent, I think about something that is high above something else or of a superior quality. Therefore to be morally excellent, one must be of "superior quality" in their morals - how one speaks, displays themselves, and acts.

Proverbs 31:10 clearly indicates that it is rare to find a wife who exhibits morally excellency, and that she is very valuable. To whom is she valuable? If you continue to read the verses following Proverbs 31:10, you'll find that she is valuable to not only her spouse (31:11-12,28), but to her children (31:28), to the poor and needy (31:20), as well as to others around her (31:15, 24).

I'm always thinking of Ella, and the things I must teach her so that she will choose to be a faithful godly woman one day. When thinking of this verse in particular, I want to compel her to realize that not only should she strive to be a virtuous wife, but that she should be rare when considering the women of the world. I want her to find a husband who values that rarity.

I pray for her and her possible future spouse (although admittedly not as often as I should) and I encourage you to do the same for your children, in private and in front of your children. Consider the impact on your children when they have heard you pray for them and their future spouse as they grow up! This idea was brought to my attention in Your Mama Don't Dance by Glenn and Cindy Colley - a great Christian parenting book that I think all Christian parents should read.