Parenting from Proverbs: Do Not Withhold Correction

Proverbs 23:13-14:

Do not withhold correction from a child,
For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
You shall beat him with a rod,
And deliver his soul from hell.

Today’s passage is often one that is controversial within the world today. However, as a student of the Bible, I cannot neglect the wisdom and instruction of this passage as well as others such as the following passages:

Proverbs 13:24: “He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly”

Proverbs 29:15: “The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”

Proverbs 19:18: “Chasten your son while there is hope, And do not set your heart on his destruction.^”

Proverbs 3:12: “For whom the Lord loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.”

Proverbs 13:24 is very pointed: if I love my children I will discipline them promptly, but if I hate my children I spare the rod from them. This passage is in direct contrast with most teaching in the world about raising children. Most of the world says that if you love your children you’ll withhold the rod from them. However, I should not fall into the ways of worldly thinking. I need to look God’s Word which is “a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (Psalm 119:105).  When spanking my children, I must keep the purpose and end in mind, particularly as given in the Bible. I am spanking and disciplining my children because I want to “deliver their souls from hell” (Proverbs 23:13-14); because I want them to have wisdom and avoid shame (Proverbs 29:15); and because I want them to learn obedience, so they learn to obey God.

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Parenting from Proverbs: Handle it now

Proverbs 19:18:

Chasten your son while there is hope,
And do not set your heart on his destruction.

My husband and I have always had the parenting philosophy that we’d rather handle it now than later. What do I mean? That we’re not going to wait until our child is five years old to start instructing them to not whine or to be kind to their sibling. We’re not going to wait until they are ten to start teaching them to pick up after themselves. We’re going to handle it now. We’re going to teach them now. We’re going to deal with issues that arise now. I fully realize that just because I teach my child something now doesn’t mean that I won’t have to teach them again when they are or five or ten or even eighteen years old. But I firmly believe that it is easier to mold a child when they are younger than when they’ve already become set in bad habits (trust me, I know it is hard for me to change my bad habits!). Proverbs 19:18 encourages me to “chasten [my child] while there is still hope.” I’m reminded every day of how precious my time is with my children, and how quickly they are growing up. I should not take that time for granted whether that be in anything from forming memories to correcting them to teaching them about God’s Word.

More parenting from Proverbs