Life with Hyperemesis Gravidarum

I’ve debated a long time about writing this post. I don’t want this post to be considered a platform for me to complain because I’m not writing this post to complain. I don’t want a pity party, and despite the struggles I’ve had with hyperemesis, the struggles are absolutely worth it when I consider my precious children. I’m writing this post because I want there to be more awareness about hyperemesis.  It wasn’t something that I was ever expecting (and even knew existed) when I became pregnant the first time. And even now, dealing with it for a third pregnancy, it isn’t something that is easily handled, physically, mentally, or emotionally.

What is hyperemesis gravidarum?

Hyperemesis gravidarum, or hyperemesis or HG for short, is a rare, extreme form of morning sickness. Depending on the statistics you read, hyperemesis occurs in anywhere from 0.2%-2.0% of all pregnancies. At times when I’m trying to explain my sickness I really dislike describing it as an extreme form of “morning sickness” because I think people just think, “Most pregnant women suffer with morning sickness, what’s the big deal? Can’t you just get handle morning sickness like everyone else does?” But hyperemesis is a big deal, and it isn’t something that can just be shrugged off or ignored. Hyperemesis really is extreme compared to typical morning sickness. It is often characterized by severe nausea and vomiting that does not subside, weight loss, inability to keep any food down, and sickness that extends past the first trimester (and may occur for the entire pregnancy). It is not uncommon for hyperemesis sufferers to be hospitalized due to dehydration. You can read more about the differences between typical morning sickness and hyperemesis here.

My pregnancies

(I apologize in advance for the length of these sections. Part of the reason I’m taking the time to write about my experiences here is so that I can remember for the future as well).

1st pregnancy

My first few weeks of pregnancy with Ella were pretty much symptom-free. I wasn’t sick, and I thought I’d be one of those women who didn’t suffer with morning sickness. I had reached the point when most women start to complain of problems, and I hadn’t had any. Then it hit. I got sick, really sick. At first I thought I was just having a few bad spells and they’d pass. I was trying every morning sickness remedy or “reducer” I could read about, but soon I got to a point where I just didn’t feel like I could handle it. Though I didn’t think there was anything my doctor could do for me, I finally called her because I was so sick all the time, unable to keep much down at all (I think I lost around 10 lbs within the first couple of weeks of the sickness starting). My doctor prescribed Zofran for me, and I went to the pharmacy hopeful for some relief. However, I was shocked when I got to the pharmacy and my insurance denied coverage for the medication. On top of that, the medication was extremely expensive (at the time around $1000 for a month’s supply of generic), and I couldn’t justify buying it. I called my doctor and my insurance, and had to go through what seemed like a lengthy pre-approval process to get the medication covered. In the approximately week/week and a half it took to get the approval I had gotten to a point where I couldn’t even keep water down anymore. I was absolutely miserable, unable to do much of anything but lay on the couch and throw up.  Finally, thankfully, my insurance gave approval for the medication, and after starting it I was finally able to start keeping water and food down.

I anxiously awaited the end of the first trimester, knowing it would mean the end of my morning sickness misery. But my first trimester ended and the sickness didn’t. I continued to suffer (although the suffering was decreasing some as I progressed in my pregnancy), and after the sickness continued through the midpoint of my pregnancy my doctor suggested that I have my gall bladder checked out. I did, and although I didn’t have any gall stones, the doctor said that there was “some evidence” in my gall bladder that could be causing my sickness problems and suggested I have my gall bladder removed three weeks after I had Ella. I had it removed, and with its removal I hoped and generally assumed I wouldn’t have that kind of terrible sickness with another pregnancy.

2nd pregnancy

Once again, my first few weeks of pregnancy with Troy were pretty much symptom-free. I wasn’t sick, and became very optimistic that my gall bladder had been the true cause of my terrible sickness after all. I was wrong. It hit again, although I think it came on a little more slowly, but eventually it was worse than it was with Ella. I was convinced that I must be having a girl because of the old wives’ tale that if you are sick you are having a girl, and if I was even sicker than the first time, this baby must be a girl (I was shocked when I found out I was having a boy). Once again, I got a prescription for Zofran, and tried to quickly get the process going on getting the pre-approval for the medication. Unfortunately, things were slow again, and I was miserable. My doctor prescribed a couple of other medications to try in the meantime (one of which was Phenergan), but they did pretty much nothing for me except make me sleepy (didn’t reduce nausea or keep me from throwing up). I was semi-optimistic that my problems would cease once I passed the first trimester, but once again, I ended up being sick and requiring Zofran my entire pregnancy (though things did get better towards the end).

3rd pregnancy

Once again, I started this pregnancy out without sickness, although I told my husband that I kind of felt like a ticking time bomb (just waiting for the sickness to hit). By the time I had my first doctor’s appointment, I still wasn’t sick, but I asked for a prescription for Zofran anyways because 1) I knew the sickness was probably coming and 2) we were vacationing in a couple of weeks and I didn’t want to be stuck on vacation without my medication. I am on a different insurance this time around, and they don’t require pre-approval (thankfully), but I do have to pay for the medication out-of-pocket first and then be reimbursed. It was so nice to have the medication from the moment that my sickness started because I never got to the severe throwing up that I had experienced with my first pregnancies because I was able to preempt the severe throwing up. The sickness has once again progressed throughout this pregnancy, and I’m still on Zofran at this point (34 weeks along) though I am actually able to function well now. Although I never had the severe throwing up because I had my medication to start out, this has been my “sickest” pregnancy yet. I attribute a lot of the extra sickness to the fact that I have to chase around two other kids, but I don’t really know if that is the case or not.

Everyday Life with Hyperemesis

Hyperemesis is not only physically exhausting and draining, but also mentally and emotionally exhausting and draining. Even after getting medication that keeps me from throwing up, I still struggle with almost constant nausea for a large portion of my pregnancy. I cannot even begin to describe how being nauseated all-day, day after day, for months on end affects someone. It is hard to complete everyday tasks at times. I look back at the first 5 months of this pregnancy, and I see a life of undone things (from the mundane to the important). My children and my husband were neglected. My house was neglected. Many other things were neglected.  I think about when I have a good day and hope that the good day means I’m moving in the right direction, only to be miserable again the next day. I think about the fear and panic that I have felt when I think I might run out of my medicine before I can get more. I think about how thankful I am to have a doctor who is considered “HG friendly” and is willing to prescribe the medication I need.

I want to end this post on a positive note. Children are a great blessing from God, and no matter how sick I’ve been or the struggles I’ve faced, their precious souls are worth it.

When I Disappear Off the Blog . . .

. . .I just might be pregnant!

 

I’m not going into hiding because I’m pregnant (although it might seem that way). Rather, it is simply a result of not feeling well at all. I’m not here to complain; in fact, I’m thrilled to be expecting again. Life has just been particularly hard these past few weeks as I’ve been dealing with hyperemesis gravidarum (a severe form of morning sickness). It isn’t anything new to me: I had this condition with both Ella and Troy, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with nonetheless. Hyperemesis can make it difficult to get even the simplest things done around the house, and it can be extremely disheartening to not be able to keep up with life passing all around me. Hopefully, though, the worst will be behind me soon and I’ll be back to being able to doing all the things I want and need to do.

Really Playing with Ella Again

Troy is two weeks old today . . . two weeks old! It all almost still feels like a dream (perhaps because I'm not getting very much sleep at a time, but that is to be expected; after all, he is only two weeks old!). It is really hard to believe that we have two kids, but that is another post for another time!

Back in August, I vented about how much I was missing being able to really play with Ella because I lacked the energy I needed to keep up with her. I was also struggling physically beyond just lacking energy. I was physically in pain, and struggling a lot with simple things like walking, getting in and out of bed, getting up and down, getting in and out of a car, and even putting on my clothes - not to mention chasing Ella around. It made my heart ache that I could not physically interact and play with her the way I wanted. At the same time, I was also dealing with the emotions of the blessing of being pregnant, and that even though I didn't physically feel well, it really was worth it.

Although I'm still medically restricted from being able to do many of my normal activities (since I'm still in the recovery phase from having a baby), I'm physically feeling so much better than I did the last few months of my pregnancy. I can get down on the floor and play with Ella. I can take her outside, and not worry about her running away from me and not being able to catch her. I can easily bend down to get a hug from her. It feels wonderful to be able to do these things again!

Checking Things Off the List

Just about a month ago, I wrote about the panic I felt creeping in around me as my due date was approaching. There were so many things that I felt like I needed to accomplish, and I felt like there was no time to do them. Now, a month later, I've gotten most of those things checked off my list, and it sure does feel good!

Although Ella and Troy's room isn't completely ready, it is very close to being finished. In fact, thanks for my dad and husband, Troy's crib was assembled today.

Last weekend I finally washed and cleaned Ella's old car seat that we will be using for Troy. I reassembled all the pieces of the car seat today so the car seat is ready to go. I've also got a few clothes washed for him.

I've pretty much got my hospital bag packed, but I'm still working to get Ella's bag together.

The house isn't perfect, but the house is in decent shape. It has certainly been a blessing to have family around to help out around the house, as well as with Ella. I just don't have much energy these days, and I'm so thankful for our wonderful families.

Panic (or perhaps nesting?)

I think I've officially realized that I'm panicking just a bit about the baby coming.

Two nights ago I dreamed that I went into labor, and I hadn't packed my bag for the hospital. But, in my dream, I didn't care that I hadn't packed my bag for the hospital. I panicked because I hadn't packed a bag for Ella to take to whoever would be watching her. It is funny how priorities change after having the first child!

I'm also a bit panicked because I haven't cleaned Ella's old car seat for baby brother. It is out in the shed, and even though it is wrapped up, I need to wash the fabric part and wipe down all the plastic parts.

I also realized that I don't really have any clothes for the baby yet (other than a few little things here and there). I'm honestly not even sure if they are newborn size clothes or not. And, up until last night, we did not have any diapers for him either.

I'm also panicked a bit about their room not being ready.

I'm also panicked because the house is a mess (I've got to get back in my Flylady routine - I'll admit that while things have been better than they used to be regarding keeping my house in order, I've still been slacking some there). I don't want to come home from the hospital to a messy house, but I also don't want people coming (even my family) to visit to a messy house. Why do I care if my house is clean now if the baby still isn't due for more than a month? I don't know, but in my head my house should be clean now!

I'm not due until the end of September (approximately 6 1/2 weeks away) so I shouldn't be panicking too much . . . although Ella came a week and half early if that even means anything.  On top of my paranoia, everyone keeps asking me when I'm due. When I tell them the end of September, they respond with a shocked expression and say something along the lines of "oh, I thought you were due much sooner than that." Do I really look that big? Of course, if you ask my husband, he'll say I'm really due the first week of October (I've been measuring a week behind my entire pregnancy).

I've decided that all this panic is just a bizarre form of nesting. Hopefully I can use this "panic" to my advantage and check a bunch of things off my to-do list this weekend!

Ramblings . . .

I'm tired. I don't like being tired, and perhaps I'm just thinking about it more today because we got up at 5:00 am this morning to travel home, but I'm sick of being tired.

And I'm sick of not getting good sleep. You are probably thinking, "just wait until the new baby arrives. . . " but, theoretically, at least I'll physically feel like I can sleep (even if I'm being woken up every two hours by a newborn).

I hate not having the energy I want to play with Ella. She learning and growing so much each day, and I want to be involved with her (obviously). I am absolutely amazed at how much energy she has these days and wish I could borrow some of it! :) Speaking of playing with Ella, does anyone have any toddler blogs they enjoy reading with good ideas of activities to do with your toddler? I've got a few ideas of some things I want to do with Ella, but I'd love to read some blogs to get lots and lots of ideas!

I am so thankful to have such as wonderful husband! He has gone above and beyond to help relieve me throughout all this time of being tired and having no energy.

My photo of Ella was picked as a favorite last week at the Trendy Treehouse blog. Woohoo!




I really need to get to work getting Ella and baby brother's room together. Even though the baby will sleep in our room in the beginning, I really want the room together before he comes for a couple of reasons. For starters, I'd like for it to be DONE. And secondly, I'd like to be able to take pictures of him as a newborn in the room. Silly, I know, but I do love photography (in case you haven't figured that out by now, lol). I've picked the paint colors, so hopefully I can get motivated to at least get a start on the room this weekend.

I'm so thankful for my family! We were able to go visit both sides of our family this past weekend (one last trip before the baby arrives), and we are so absolutely blessed by them!

And, as much as I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore (considering my comments about being tired and having no energy earlier), I'm so thankful to be pregnant, and I can't wait to meet our little boy.

Gestational Diabetes

You might have noticed that my weekly menu postings have been missing the past couple of weeks. A major reason for this is that I have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes, a type of diabetes that occurs in approximately 5% of pregnancies. There are many degrees of gestational diabetes, but the type I have is generally controlled through diet and exercise. The diet part is why my weekly menu postings have disappeared . . .it is a lot harder to meal plan on the gestational diabetes diet, and I haven't been able to sit down and plan a week's worth of menus at one time (although in the upcoming weeks I will be planning my weekly menus).

I had gestational diabetes with Ella, so I was not surprised to be diagnosed again this pregnancy (women who have it in previous pregnancies have an increased risk to have it in subsequent pregnancies). And, while gestational diabetes is not something to be taken lightly, I'm not too worried about it. If gestational diabetes is properly managed, it is unlikely that me or the baby will have any complications. The big problems with gestational diabetes usually arise when it is uncontrolled. I test my blood sugar at least twice a day (and usually test 3-4 times) to make sure that my fasting number (my blood sugar level when I wake up) and my after meal numbers are being properly controlled through diet and exercise (although I haven't been good at the exercise part yet . . .). In almost all pregnancies gestational diabetes goes away immediately after delivering the baby.

So, what type of diet do I have to follow with gestational diabetes? Different dietitians will recommend slightly different versions of this diet, but generally it is a high protein, low carbohydrate diet where you eat every few hours (rather than just three big meals during the day). The plan specifically lists how many carbs I'm allotted at each meal or snack because carbohydrates (starches and sugars) are what affects blood glucose levels.

Breakfast: 30g of carbohydrates

Mid-morning snack: 15-30g of carbohydrates

Lunch: 45g of carbohydrates

Mid-afternoon snack: 15-30g of carbohydrates

Dinner: 45g of carbohydrates

Evening snack: 15-30g of carbohydrates

Now, 30g or 45g of carbs might sound like a lot of carbs - but it isn't, at  least not to me. Consider that it is almost impossible to eat a serving size of cereal for less than 30g of carbs (and that is without milk). Or, that one cup of cooked pasta (depending on the pasta) has more than 30g of carbs, and that doesn't count the carbs that would be in a tomato or cream sauce.

Although the diet is strict, and certainly isn't fun to follow, it isn't the end of the world. And, I think there is a bright side this time around . . . I don't have to go through the holidays on the diet! When I was pregnant with Ella, I was diagnosed right before Thanksgiving and I had to follow the diet through Thanksgiving and Christmas. Can you imagine a Thanksgiving meal where you have to count carbs?? :)

Wordless Wednesday: Blue Eyes

I wonder if baby brother will have blue eyes!

Gear for the First Year

As we are preparing for baby number two, I've been thinking a lot about what baby gear I really loved with Ella, and what baby gear I could have (and sometimes did) done without. I know every parent and child are different, but here are some of the products I thought were great to have with Ella. At the end of my list, I've also included a few things I want to get next time around that I didn't have with Ella. I bet this post will be continually edited/added to as I think on it more. :)

Gear I couldn't live without:

1. Swing. I particularly liked this style of swing that swings in two different directions.
2. Bouncer.  A lot of folks will tell you this is a waste of money, especially since you only get a few months of use out of it, but I thought it was wonderful to have - especially when I needed to take a shower or get something else done. For example, I could put her in the bouncer in the bathroom while I showered, and always have my eye on her.
3. Swaddling blankets. I did not have this particular brand of swaddling blankets (I actually had some pretty cheap ones that didn't hold up well), but I've read that these are great quality swaddling blankets. As a side note, in case you don't know, not just any blanket works well for swaddling!
4. Halo Sleep Sacks. These are great for the baby to sleep in!
5. Burp clothes: We needed lots of these because Ella spit-up a lot (turns out she had a milk allergy and that is why she spit up so much), but babies spit up and make lots of messes and burp clothes are great to use to clean up these messes.
6. Bottles (if you plan to bottle feed at any point): I tried three different kinds out with Ella (Nuk, Playtex Ventaire, and Playtex drop-ins). I liked the Nuk ones the best, but I also liked the Playtex Ventaire bottles. I HATED the Playtex drop-ins, but maybe that's just me . . . I know a lot of people recommend them.
7. Pacifier (if you plan to use a pacifier): I'm really thankful that Ella took a pacifier (it helped out in lots of ways), and it wasn't too hard to wean her!
8. Happiest Baby on the Block. I have not read the book, but we watched the DVD in the hospital (I believe all the information is the same, just different formats). He has some really great tips for calming babies. They worked great on Ella!
9. Your Mama Don't Dance. Ok, this isn't just for the first year, but for a lifetime of parenting. This is really a great Christian parenting book.
10. Car seat. Obvious, I know. However, in my opinion, it isn't necessary to get an infant car seat that has weight limits above 22 lbs. By the time your child is that large you DON'T want to carry them in the infant car seat any more, and it is somewhat difficult to buckle them/get the child in and out of the car in the infant seat (if you just leave it in the car rather than taking it out).
11. Pack and Play. We used this as our bassinet for the first few months (in our room), but we've also used it extensively when we traveled, as well as when we are out at a friends house and want to put Ella to bed.
12. Moby. I loved being able to wear Ella.
13. Boppy. Great for nursing, as well as just holding her in my lap. A least a couple of slipcovers are useful as well because it does get dirty!
14. Stroller. There are lots of mixed opinions about the type of stroller to get. I've liked ours, although it is somewhat bulky (it is kind of a middle-sized stroller that our infant car seat would snap into).
15. High chair. Some folks recommend the spacesaver type (which I also have for traveling and eating out - and like for those purposes), but at home I much prefer to have a regular high chair. If I was limited for space, I might think about this differently.
16. Camera. I didn't get this camera until Ella was a little older, but a camera (of some sort) is absolutely necessary!
17. Camcorder. I've used this a lot more as she's gotten older (after all, new babies don't really do much) but I'm still glad I had it when she was a newborn.

Gear I thought was nice to have, but not absolutely necessary:

1. Diaper pail. I used this a lot in the beginning, but found that I just ended up throwing the diapers away in the regular trash most of the time. With that said, we take our regular trash out frequently - if you don't, you will most definitely want one of these.
2. Mobile. I really liked one that was battery operated (rather than wind-up) and had a remote control so I could start it back up without disturbing Ella.
3. Jumperoo. I was tempted to put this under the "I couldn't live without category" but I realize it isn't a necessity. Ella loved this thing though!
4. Bumbo seat.
5. Playmat. Ella liked this, but it wasn't something we used for a very long period of time.

Gear I want for the next baby that I didn't have with Ella:

1. A good nursing cover. I absolutely HATED the one I had, but I really want something that hangs around my neck (rather than just using a blanket). If anyone has any suggestions, let me know!
2. Noise machine. I'm not sure about the specific one, but I'd like some sort of white noise machine. White noise is great for newborns.

Moms, what gear did you like for your little one?