Goofy did it!

Troy is always saying things that surprise me. His creativity always makes me smile even when it shouldn’t. For example, a few months ago I told Troy to stop doing something (I don’t even remember now what it was) he said, “But Goofy did it!'” At the time Troy was holding his stuffed Goofy animal, and Troy was using Goofy to perform the action that I asked him to stop doing. Troy thought he had the best of both worlds: getting to do what I told him not to do and passing the blame to someone else.

I think that we can easily fall into this way of thinking as well: doing things that go against God’s will and then passing the blame to someone or something else. What about the woman who dresses inadequately and inappropriately, but blames the man for looking? Or the parents who fail to teach their children about God at home, but blame the Bible class program? What about the Christian who fails to give to God, but blames the economy?  Or the countless other ways that we try to push our faults to someone or something else? Brushing the burden of sin off to someone or something else may ease our conscience, but it will not cleanse sin off our record to God. Sin separates us from God (Isaiah 59:1-2), even if we try to push the responsibility of our actions off of ourselves. Consider 2 Corinthians 5:10: “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.” We must be careful not to fall into the dangerous trap that removes personal responsibility for the sin in our lives.

And, considering my role and responsibility as a parent, I must teach my children that they must take ownership of their actions rather than passing the blame off to something else.  Sometimes I think our instincts as parents may encourage us to make excuses for our children, thinking that we are protecting them in some way. However, I think that when we consistently make excuses for our children we do them a great disservice because we don’t teach them the importance of personal responsibility and accountability. Though no parent wants their child to do wrong, we must realize that our children will be better off in the long run if they are held accountable for their actions, ultimately so that they will understand the severity of sin and the importance of obedience to God.

Held Accountable

When we moved into our home, we did a ton of work in the house. I think we did at least some sort of work in every room of the house, with the exception of our bathroom. Some days I’m thankful that we haven’t gotten around to remodeling our bathroom yet.  Last Thursday was one of those days.

We were sitting in our living room when Ella came back from going to the bathroom (she’s pretty sufficient to use the bathroom by herself now – it is wonderful!). When she came into the room, she was hiding her hands behind her back. She came in quietly and went behind the couch, keeping her hands behind her back the entire time. We figured she’d taken something out of the bathroom she wasn’t supposed to bring into the living room, but it was worse than that. When my husband finally got her to open her hands up, her hands revealed that she’d been playing with my fingernail polish in the bathroom.  Somehow she only managed to get a couple drops on her dress and a few spots on her hands. There were, however, several large dark pink spots on the bathroom floor. This is why I’m thankful we haven’t gotten around to fixing up our bathroom yet.

As we went through the process of disciplining her for her actions (this is the second time she’s gotten into my fingernail polish) I was thinking about what someone from the outside might say about the whole situation. Such things like, “Why was the fingernail polish in her reach?” or “Why was she allowed to go to the restroom by herself?” It made me think about how those type of questions put guilt off of Ella. Now, please don’t misunderstand me. I do not advocate sending children into dangerous situations or even trying to “tempt” them. My fingernail polish was not easily accessible by Ella (she really had to try to get it), and she knew that she was not supposed to get into it in the first place. I realize that she is only 2 1/2 but there are definitely things she knows to do or not to do. The fact that she walked into the living room hiding her hands testifies to the fact that she knew she had done something she wasn’t supposed to do.

I think it is important to hold children accountable for the their actions. I don’t enjoy seeing Ella doing things that she shouldn’t do, but I think I would only make the situation worse for her (and us) in the long run if I made excuses for her and did not hold her accountable for what she has done.  I know that I have a great responsibility in showing Ella what is right and what is wrong, and part of that responsibility includes making sure she knows there are consequences for her actions. Ultimately, as she grows up she needs to realize that God will hold her accountable (just like we all need to realize) for the things that she does. Consider 2 Corinthians 5:10: “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.” I do not say this meaning that we must work our way into heaven (or earn our way into heaven), but rather that we will be judged by whether or not we are living a faithful life in accordance with God’s Word. I know that one way I can help teach Ella about faithful living is to hold her accountable for the things that she does.